If you had to sit down and write down what was really important to you on your wedding day. I am almost certain that having your closest love ones there is top of your priority list. Now more than ever we appreciate our friends and family that much more. It has also made us realise that we cherish what matters - the marriage, the love and the memories.
Photo by Cecelina Photography
I have spoken to many brides over the last year, and the overriding opinion seems to be that you guys just want to get married with a few close family and friends. In light of the last year some couples have had realisations that this is all that has mattered. The traditions or fashions of having a larger wedding were just "what the normal was" and it's making couples realise that actually they can have a smaller wedding and do it how they wish to have it, and still have a great day.
Of course larger weddings are indeed amazing and I am not disputing that at all. I just think that with these restrictions from the UK government in place, to regain control of their day, some couples are choosing to embrace having a smaller wedding. Learning and adapting to this and really going to town on bringing the party to those closest to them.
Hopefully soon we shall have some good news about weddings - it has been
one of the hardest rollercoasters to navigate. I am continuing to remain positive for this summer, and I hope that we see 30 + guests like we did July 2020.
I wanted to write this piece as I wanted to put some couples minds at ease about the prospect of having a smaller wedding, should we get closer to the summer and we are only allowed 30 guests. I want to highlight why this might not be such a bad thing, and why it can still be a party and memorable.
The Wedding Morning
Photo by David Jenkins Photography
Back in August 2020 when I was allowed to resume my job as a hair & makeup artist, and weddings were allowed. I was so thrilled and excited I felt like me again. My brides were equally excited and I noticed a difference in each of them that I had not seen quite as strong in previous years. Because they were having a smaller wedding, they seemed to be more relaxed, less emotional, more excited. Perhaps it was due to them having to postpone once already, or perhaps it was because they were forced to have a smaller wedding, which made them truly look at the marriage and wedding from a different stand point. It may not have been what they planned, but they were STILL happy and ready to enjoy their day.
The morning itself seemed less chaotic with less pressure. I think sometimes having a larger wedding can add pressures to the day. "Are people going to enjoy themselves?" "What if that person hates where they are sat?" "What if they don't enjoy our food?" The list goes on... I think with a smaller, more intimate wedding the fear of judgement goes out the window as its only people who are in your closest relationship box who are invited. You can relax more and truly allow the day to process and register.
Photo by Steve Fuller Photography
I can appreciate that picking the guest list will probably be very stressful, for fear of upsetting anyone. But I am hoping that people who are not invited do understand, due to the nature of what we are up against at the moment. I think more people will realise that it's not personal, that this is the new normal. That weddings are going to be a little more intimate for a time.
I think you both as a couple have to remember that it is about the two of you, and how you wish to get married and celebrate your day.
Don't just take my word for it
One of my brides wrote me this after her wedding in June got postponed. She finally had her wedding in September 2020.
Photo by David Jenkins Photography
"We had the most wonderful day, who knows what the original June wedding would have been but we really can't imagine anything more perfect than the day we had. It was so incredibly special sharing the day with such an intimate group of our closest family and friends where everyone had a role to play. Rather than rushing around, trying to talk to everyone, Tim and I got to spend so much time together. Rather than the nerves of saying our vows with 100 pairs of eyes on us, we were so calm. Rather than worrying if everyone else was having a good time or if we were running to schedule or being asked a million questions, we got to soak in the pure joy and happiness of the day.
We are both still on cloud 9 - it really was genuinely the happiest day of our lives. I could not speak more highly of our experience of a small wedding and I really hope for the sake of businesses like yours more couples, who feel they can (it won't be for everyone), look at the positives that can come from an intimate wedding and continue to get married in an adapted way"
Financial Benefit
Photo by Cecelina Photography
I got married in Tuscany in Italy back in 2017. I loved my wedding, and I do count myself lucky that I managed to have the day that I did. I did however only have 42 guests.
Originally we thought of getting married here in the UK, which would have been lovely. However when we wrote out our guest list we had 150 guests and quite frankly neither me or my now husband were that keen on the idea of having a big wedding. We decided to get married abroad, because A) we loved the idea of Italy but also B) quite frankly it mean't we could invite less people (sorry to be frank!)
It also meant from a financial perspective we could provide more for our guests, make for a better experience because we could stretch our budget that much further than with a larger wedding. So if you are worrying about the "party" feeling not being there with only 30 people, I can assure you that financially permitting you can make it that much more special with some little extras that perhaps you couldn't commit to with a larger wedding. Perhaps you can now have those shoes you love, indulge in better quality food, have hair and makeup for all of your bridal party. Those little touches might make it feel that much more intimate and special. We partied until 4am on the night of my wedding, I definitely think the extra hours we paid our DJ were worth it thats for sure!
Alternatively if you are looking to move house and get a mortgage or have a DIY project. The money you would have saved from having a smaller wedding can also mean you can now get cracking with other parts of life (win, win!).
We Just Want to Be Together...
Photo by Millar Cole Photography
Lastly I think a huge part of why I think smaller weddings will be so special this year. Is well we have not been able to see our close friends and family properly in so long. How wonderful will the celebrations be on the wedding day. To raise a glass together, to have gotten through a historic pandemic and to rejoice in the fact that you are all in one room to celebrate love. What a memory that will be! I don't think you need 100+ people to feel the warmth of that feeling :)
I am so looking forward to re-opening my doors and being a part of such special and memorable days. I will be armed with tissues (probably for myself as I will be so elated) I think the meaning of weddings and getting married in 2021 will be so much stronger, more powerful. As after all Love conquers all!
Photo by Millar Cole Photography